


(role)play

by matchamilk



Series: jung jaehyun's guide to dating a vampire: 101 [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff as usual, M/M, Miscommunication, Vampires, complete and utter crack, like...100 percent crack, some very SEXY language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 00:58:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13260249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchamilk/pseuds/matchamilk
Summary: communication is key when it comes to human relationships.turns out the same goes for vampires too.





	(role)play

**Author's Note:**

> tadaaaa almost half a year later and heres my promised pt 2 to my vampire verse!! this ended up being a 7k shitpost so i apologize in advance... 
> 
> this story can be read alone, read before bite, or if youd like, you can start with bite first!!
> 
> here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11629509
> 
> warning: i am aware some of the references in this are incredibly AMERICAN...but im a yank and couldnt help it!! im sorry.

 

 _It_ happens on a Saturday.

Jaehyun shivers as he tightens his grip on Sicheng’s gloved fingers. It’s the very beginning of December, the weather in Seoul starting to dip from manageably chilly to a torturously freezing cold. They’re walking down the street, stopping by any stores that catch their attention (which, so far, has just been _one,_ a little gift shop where Sicheng made Jaehyun buy him an APeach Kakao Friends plushie because it— _word-for-word—_ reminded him of him). Jaehyun’s bundled up as best as he can, a turtleneck under a knit jumper under his long, wool coat—but the icy wind still bites at his cheeks, leaving them an embarrassing shade of pink.

Sicheng notices this of course, and giggles, holding up APeach next to his face, “The resemblance is uncanny.”

“Yeah, yeah. Keep that up and I’ll bring it back to the store,” Jaehyun half threatens, but they both know it’s empty words. Jaehyun’s nothing short of whipped.

Especially when his boyfriend looks so cute. Sicheng clutches APeach to his chest, his chin tucked underneath his scarf (which is completely unnecessary since he’s _undead_ and is naturally cold to the touch, but the excessive padding is more of an unspoken courtesy for Jaehyun’s very human, very warm-blooded self).

“You’ll never take him from me,” Sicheng grins, one of his fangs poking out of his mouth and all Jaehyun wants to do is wrap him up and keep him forever. He’s so distracted he almost doesn’t notice when Sicheng releases his hand.

_Almost._

“Not if you can’t catch me,” Sicheng teases, heart shaped lips spreading into a full grin.

And before Jaehyun can open his mouth, his boyfriend is already taking off down the street. His feet levitate off the ground for a moment, before he realizes he’s out in broad daylight. Jaehyun has to hide a smile behind his hand when Sicheng’s eyes widen, immediately dropping back to the ground before he’s taking off. He weaves through the crowd incredibly quickly, ducking past people, APeach flying in the air right behind him.

“Come on,” Jaehyun groans, not in the mood for running at all.

He pulls his beanie over his ears and sighs.

“Of course I can’t catch you,” He mumbles to himself underneath his breath, “You’re a vampire with superhuman strength and stamina and are immune to things like _weather_ and _temperature_.”

“Excuse me?” A woman on the street looks at him strangely.

As usual, his timing is perfect.

“I was—I mean,” Jaehyun stutters, flustered. There’s really no way he can put this that _won’t_ sound insane, “I wasn’t talking to myself. I swear I’m not crazy.”

She only frowns, quickly walking past him.

“I-I’m an actor! They’re lines! For a new vampire play. It’s really well written! I swear!”

\--

Despite his embarrassing run-in and a few mishaps along the way ( _I swear I didn’t mean to touch your butt—I’m just trying to catch up with my boyfriend and its crowded…sorry!)_ Jaehyun catches up with Sicheng eventually (red faced, and out of breath but no one needs to know that).

Sicheng however, feels bad when he sees his boyfriend, panting with his hands on his knees ( _note to self: don’t forget humans get tired from physical activity_ ) and insists on buying him a mocha cream bun at the café around the corner as an apology.

And well, who is Jung Jaehyun of all people to turn down bread?

So here they are, at the café around the corner, standing in line for Jaehyun’s mocha cream bun when _it_ happens.

 _It_ being two teenage girls in queued up in front of them. Who they just happen to overhear.

“…Shut up. Tell me you _wouldn’t_ want a vampire boyfriend,” One of the girls gasps, hitting her friend with the sleeve of her pink hoodie.

“You read way too many manhwas,” The other girl rolls her eyes, brushing her brown bangs to the side, “Vampires don’t exist.”

“I know that,” She pouts, “But imagine if they did. Wouldn’t you want a tall, dark, and handsome vampire? Human men are already disappointments. But a vampire boyfriend…he’d be mysterious and dominant,” She sighs, eyes glazing over, “And I’m sure vampires dress really nicely. Picture him taking you to his mansion, with a sharp black and velvet Victorian style suit on, pinning you against a wall and staring at you with his dangerous and elegant eyes…”

“Well…if you put it that way…”

Jaehyun glances over at Sicheng who’s gone silent. He slides his arm around his waist and pulls him closer to his side. He’s stiff. Jaehyun frowns. Sicheng always melts under his touch, hides his face in his chest, or leans into him ( _you’re my pillow_ as he’d always say), never immune to his skinship. He nudges his shoulder, and gives him a half smile to loosen the tension. “Must be nice having a vampire boyfriend huh?”

For a split second Jaehyun’s worried he’s said the wrong thing, because his boyfriend stays frozen.

“Baby?” He tries again with the nickname he only ever uses in their more intimate moments, slipping into his soft voice.

It seems to work, Sicheng suddenly snapping his head towards him. He smiles, but it doesn’t look completely genuine.

“Yeah. It must be.”

 

*

 

“Do you think I’m boring?” Jaehyun asks one day, tearing up his sixth paper napkin into little pieces (there’s already a pile of torn up napkin on the table, the mountain slowly growing as he accumulates more and more). It’s a bad habit he’s picked up in the past few years that really only comes out when something’s on his mind.

 

And— _surprise—_ there’s something on his mind.

 

It’s been weighing on him all week. He’s not sure what’s gotten into Sicheng, but he’s been...distant to say the least. They have a routine, the two of them. Wake up together, go to their respective classes, come home to each other. But it’s been different the past few days. More than once has Jaehyun returned to an empty apartment. And it’s not like they’re one of those couples who are unhealthily reliant on each other, not like he can’t go a day without his other half. But it’s just _unusual_ , because Sicheng’s almost always at his place. It’s become his second home ever since they started dating. Sicheng rarely stays overnight at Renjun’s anymore, unless he’s there for a visit or to look after Chenle and Jisung (who are technically older than in vampire years, but that’s moot point).

 

Jaehyun’s not sure if he’s done something wrong.

 

He’s tried to think of what he could have possibly have said, but they’ve barely talked ever since the cafe incident. And so the only real possibility he can think of has to be linked to those girls in line.

 

Jaehyun’s not sure who he can talk to about it, because he’d usually go to Sicheng if he had a problem. But this time his problem _is_ Sicheng. Which is why he invited his most honest, brutal, best friend, Doyoung, to get coffee. Who had begrudgingly agreed. If there was anyone who could tell him candidly if he did something wrong it would be Doyoung.

 

Except Doyoung isn’t talking. At all.

 

Doyoung doesn’t spare him a glance, fingers tapping away at his laptop. He lifts up his water bottle, taking a sip, eyes still trained on the screen.

 

Silence. 

 

Jaehyun raises his eyebrows, “Doyoung?”

 

“Oh, is someone talking to me?” Doyoung feigns ignorance, “I don’t recall allowing _criminals_ to speak to me,” He bites out, sharp beady eyes giving Jaehyun the dirtiest stare he can muster from above the top of his MacBook.

 

God. Not this again.

 

“What? Are you still mad about that? I said I was _sorry_!” Jaehyun groans and he can already feel the impending headache about to happen. They’ve been over this at least _three_ times now. He slumps back in his seat, “Look I even paid for your ridiculous Frappuccino, which by the way was 20,000 won after all the add-ins you got. Can a human even digest _that_ much syrup?”

 

Doyoung, being the bitch he is, glances at his untouched Trenta Frappuccino, which was what was _supposed_ to be vanilla bean, but turned out to be 31 ounces of unpleasant brown sludge. Apparently that’s what happens when you ask for a half a cup of matcha powder and three pumps of every syrup Starbucks has to make your best friend go as broke as possible.

 

“You’re right. I want an Americano.”

 

Jaehyun stares.

 

Doyoung doesn’t budge.

 

“You’re really not going to make me—”

 

“That cake was baked for _me_ by my ninety-year-old grand aunt who lives in fucking Jeju! She’s fucking _ninety_ Jaehyun! The woman can barely get to the bathroom in time to pee. That could be the last fucking cake she ever bakes!”

 

“I told you I didn’t know! I was hungry!”

 

“You’re a fucking _cake thief_ that’s what you are! You’re like Nicolas Cage in _National Treasure_. Except instead of stealing the Declaration of Independence for a map that leads to invaluable American treasures to clear an obscurely distant relative’s name _,_ you’re the cake thief who steals sentimental baked goods from loving, dutiful grandnephews.”

 

“Did you just recite the plot of _National Treasure_ to me in a really inconsequential simile?”

 

“Shut up! That simile made perfect sense. But that is _beside the point._ Is there any shame left in the world? You had my grand aunt’s homemade frosting all over your cheeks too. Defiling her creation like that. You should be in _jail._ ” Doyoung hisses, “One day your carb addiction will get the best of you.”

 

“I do _not_ have a carb addiction.”

 

“Oh, that’s rich,” Doyoung laughs, the pitch of his voice making him sound just the slightest insane, “September 12. That ring a bell to you?”

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

 

“Don’t play dumb. September 12, 2017 at approximately,” Doyoung pauses, “1:40 PM. We were in the dining hall, and I got up to use the restroom because I spilled my organic vanilla flavored free-range almond milk on my pants.”

 

Jaehyun opens his mouth and shuts it. And then opens it again.

 

“How can almonds be free range?”

 

“They just can!”

 

“Alright barring the fact that you just implied almonds can graze like cows do, how the hell do you remember the exact time?”

 

“Because I never forget when I’m wronged. _Ever._ ”

 

“I still don’t have any clue what you’re talking about because I don’t remember what happens during our lunches at specific times and dates. Because. I’m. A. Normal. Person.”

 

“A normal person wouldn’t take a bite of their friends’ melonpan when they think they aren’t looking!” Doyoung shrieks, slamming his hands on the table, “A melonpan I spent my own money on!”

 

Jaehyun pales, swallowing thickly. His throat is suddenly dry.

 

“Y-you knew about that?”

 

“Of course I fucking knew! That bite was like, half of the bun!”

 

“It was _not_ half of the bun. It was more like...a third o—”

 

“It was fucking half the bun! I have an extremely precise sense when it comes to quantitative measurements of the baked goods you’ve stolen from me. Do not test me.”

 

“I…” Jaehyun trails off, deciding it’s better not to keep arguing, “Sorry.”

 

Doyoung snorts, “Yeah well, it’s too late for that. That half of my bun has already long been digested...but...Imagine if Sicheng found out.”

 

Jaehyun’s jaw drops, “You wouldn’t”

 

Doyoung raises an eyebrow, “You wanna bet?”

 

“S-so will that be Grande or Venti?”

 

\--

 

“By the way, the answer is yes. Yes you are bland as hell,” Doyoung says once he’s got his Venti Americano nestled in his hands, “But why are you asking me this just now?”

 

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “Thanks for the support. And it’s...nothing I was just wondering.”

 

Doyoung gives Jaehyun his most unimpressed look, “You know I can see right through you right? We’ve been friends for 8 years—god knows why—but the _point_ is, I know everything about you whether you like it or not, Jung Jaehyun, and I _know_ for a fact that your first instinct is to destroy napkins and kill about eighty trees when you’re stressed,” He nods towards the pile that has now doubled in size, “So spit it out before I make you.”

 

“Ok you’re right,” Jaheyun sighs and ignores Doyoung’s smug noise of triumph, “There is something wrong. I think Sicheng’s mad at me.”

 

“What did you do this time?”

 

Jaehyun decides to ignore the implications behind that sentence.

 

“That’s the thing!” He exclaims, “There is no _this_ time! We were completely fine, up until last Saturday. But I can’t figure out why. Ok well I have an idea of why…but I can’t be sure if that’s really the reason.”

 

“Well, what do you think is the problem?”

 

“Last Saturday, Sicheng and I were standing in line at that new café downtown. You know, the new one with the rainbow bagels.”

 

“Those bagels are shit.”

 

“Really? I didn’t have one but the Yelp reviews didn’t seem that bad…anyway, there were these two girls in front of us, and they were talking.”

 

“Talking you say! Sounds super weird to me.”

 

“Ugh, let me finish. They were talking about…” Jaehyun looks around and lowers his voice to make sure no one can overhear. Only a few people know about Sicheng’s…condition, including Doyoung. “… _vampires_ , more specifically like, stereotypical vampire things they think are hot. And Sicheng got all tense when he overhead them.”

 

Doyoung crosses his legs, “Do you think he was offended? By the stereotypes?”

 

“I did at the beginning. But Sicheng doesn’t get offended by much, except for when I try to throw out the ice cream he isn’t supposed to have in the first place. We’ve even watched a few vampire movies together and he mostly just laughs at everything. Which is why I think it has to do with something I did. Or more specifically, what I haven’t done.”

 

“What you haven’t done?”

 

“I feel like…I haven’t been satisfying his needs?” Jaehyun blushes, “Maybe I’m holding back a side of him he doesn’t really get to indulge in. We don’t really do anything…y’know.”

 

“No, I don’t,” Doyoung shoots Jaehyun a smirk that indicates he very much does know what he’s talking about.

 

“Don’t make me say it.”

 

“I can’t help you if I don’t know what the problem is.”

 

“Oh come on, we’re in a _family_ establishment.”

 

“As far as I’m concerned, everyone in this café is eligible for Mormon hell. So since we’re all destined for eternal damnation according to some white people in Utah, speak.”

 

“Fine,” Jaehyun groans, burying his head in his hands, “We don’t really do any…kinky vampire stuff. There I said it. You happy now?”

 

“Very,” Doyoung cackles, “God I could take a picture of your face just now. Absolutely priceless. But you seem to be suffering enough so I’ll let you off.”

 

“Wow, thanks. You’re _such_ a good Samaritan.”

 

“Anything for charity,” Doyoung grins, “But anyway. Are you sure that’s it? Sicheng doesn’t seem like the type who’d want to…be all dark and brooding in the bedroom. He’s not exactly dominant.”

 

“He isn’t,” Jaehyun confirms, “But maybe he wants to be? Maybe he wants to be dark and mysterious? And maybe he’s upset because I haven’t been submissive enough. I don’t know.”

 

“You really think _that’s_ the reason why he’s upset? Why don’t you just ask him?”

 

Jaehyun balks, “I can’t do that! If I’m right, and I have a feeling I am, there’s a reason he never brought it up. I think he’s probably just shy about it. I’ll have to find a way to do this without making him embarrassed about it.”

 

Doyoung only looks at him over his paper cup.

 

“You know, if you were anyone else, I’d push you to just be honest. But since you’re you, I’m going to let you embarrass yourself for my own personal pleasure. Just remember though, I’m telling you right now the best way to approach him is to just ask him.”

 

**

“Where can I get a velvet suit?” Sicheng asks very, very seriously. So seriously he almost falls off the sidewalk and on his ass.

 

“Whoa there,” Taeyong scrambles to catch him before he falls into the street and gets run over by a car (not that that would kill him, but it’d be hard to explain, potentially traumatizing for a driver, and anyway, Taeyong’s not sure if vampire insurance exists). He sighs, pulls him into his chest, balancing the majority of his weight on his shoulder, and pokes his cheek, “What do you need a velvet suit for? You look cute just the way you are. Baby chick.”

 

Sicheng scowls and bats his hand away, “ _Hyung_ …You know I hate that.”

 

“Hate what? The truth?” Taeyong teases and Sicheng frowns, pushing him away, stumbling back a few steps, and slamming his head straight into a street lamp pole. The pole shakes, the sound of metal clashing echoes throughout the empty, dark street. Taeyong winces, but Sicheng doesn’t even seem to notice, the pain effectively nonexistent considering he’s well…undead.

 

“Let me tell you something Lee t-toy thong,” Sicheng slurs and Taeyong mentally gives him two points for creativity, “You hear that? That’s my goddamn head hitting a pole and it doesn’t hurt. You know why? Because I have nothing up here!” He slams his head into the pole even harder on purpose this time. Taeyong’s sure he’s left a dent.

 

He really shouldn’t have let Sicheng feed on that drunk asshole in the bar, considering the boy is featherweight when it comes to taking alcohol, but to be _fair,_ it wasn’t like the guy didn’t deserve it. It’s not like he _killed_ him, just drank enough to make him pass out in a dangerous alleyway for a while.

 

Really, at that point all responsibility has been nullified.

 

Again, emphasis on _didn’t kill._

 

“Are you calling yourself stu—”

 

“W-wait. Let me—fuck, let me continue speaking. What I _mean_ is, I have nothing up here because I’m dead! No neurons firing or whatever the fuck is supposed to happen. I’m not human, I’m a vicious, evil, monster of the night. I can kill people easily and _drink their blood until they’re shriveled, dried up, useless corpses._ I am not c-c-cu _—hic—_ cute!” Sicheng finishes, his hiccup making him float a couple inches off the ground. His bangs flop in front of his eyes as he lands, and he hisses, baring his baby fangs as he struggles to drunkenly swat them out of his eyes.

 

Taeyong blinks.

 

“I don’t know. That was pretty cute.”

 

“You’re the worst,” Sicheng pouts and kicks the ground like a little kid throwing a tantrum.

 

Taeyong sighs and grabs his friend’s wrists before he ends up clawing out one of his own eyes, holding him still, “What’s with you? This is your third night in a row out with me. Not that I don’t enjoy this. I miss when we used to hang out all the time. But I know you’ve never been into the leather daddy scene like I am. I can’t understand _why you wouldn’t be_ but I’ll withhold judgement. Plus, Jaehyun must be worried. Did something happen between you two?”

 

Sicheng narrows his eyes and bumps his forehead against Taeyong’s.

 

“I’m going to ask you something. And I need you to be very honest with me.”

 

Taeyong bumps his head back.

 

“Take your best shot. I’ll do my best.”

 

“Would you have sex with me?”

 

“Wh-what?” Taeyong splutters, “You’re in a relationship with Jaehyun you can’t jus— _mmmph_.”

 

Sicheng presses his hand against Taeyong’s mouth before he can keep talking.

 

“Just answer the question. Would you. Have. Sex. With. Me.”

 

“I mean,” He answers, distress in his voice, “I-I…If you were not in a relationship and it wouldn’t affect our friendship…I’m not saying I _wouldn’t_ have sex with you. You’re very attractive and I _know_ for a fact you double moisturize and use SPF which means your skin is probably really soft…probably like a newborn’s…god that sounds weird. What _I mean_ is that it’s not like I’m _not_ attracted to you. I just—I mean—we’ve been friends for so long now and I feel like we’d really know how to treat each other during intercourse but…”

 

“This is a yes or no question, Taeyong.”

 

“Okay,” Taeyong inhales deeply, “Yes. Yes I would have sex with you.”

 

Sicheng sighs and slumps against him, burying his face in his shoulder, voice muffled and very small, “You’re being honest? I need to know for sure.”

 

“Of course! I’d fuck you in a heartbeat! Oh Sichengie—are you crying? Oh no…don’t cry, don’t cry,” Taeyong rubs his best friend’s back, his shirt growing wet with tears, “I swear I’m being honest. Hell, I’d fuck you in front of Jaehyun if you asked. Your parents, President Moon Jae-In, in a McDonald’s parking lot…whatever you want!”

 

This only seems to make Sicheng cry harder though. He pulls away, face wet and red as he sobs even louder and lets out an ear-piercing wail.

 

“Sicheng-ah, don’t cry please. I can’t bear to see you sad,” Taeyong panics and wrings his hands. _What to do, what to do._ “Wait—I’ll fuck you right here right now! See? I’m taking off my belt right now. Look! It’s unbuckled.”

 

“What if I’m the one who wants to do the fucking?!” Sicheng screeches, bursting into a new round of tears. He falls to the ground and sits there, a waterfall on his face.

 

“We can do that too! We can do whatever you want!”

 

“This is my worst nightmare,” Sicheng shakes his head, “Even the biggest masochistic twink I know thinks I’d be his bottom.”

 

“Wait…” Taeyong bends down, holding him by the shoulders, “Is this what this is about? And excuse me. I’m not masochistic.”

 

“You got a boner that one time you twisted your ankle falling down the stairs—”

 

“I told you to never to bring that up again!”

 

“—And yes,” Sicheng hides his face between his knees, “I feel like I’m not fulfilling Jaehyun’s needs.”

 

“Oh baby,” Taeyong reaches to rub Sicheng’s back but pauses when he snaps his head up and glares at him, “I-I mean uh…master?”

 

“Not the choice I was expecting, but acceptable,” Sicheng mumbles.

 

“Master…Right. Anyway, what makes you think Jaehyun isn’t happy with you?”

 

Sicheng sniffs, looking up at the sky, “What do you think of when you think of vampires Taeyong?”

 

“I dunno…you?”

 

“Before I turned.”

 

“Hmm…Dracula I guess. And Twilight.”

 

“Exactly!” Sicheng exclaims, “You think of Edward Cullen. Mysterious, dark, _dominant_. Forbidden romance. Not some college student who barely has fangs that everyone wants to baby. When you date a vampire you’re probably expecting something…intense, cloying, off limits. And I’ve failed to give that experience to my own boyfriend.”

 

“Sicheng,” Taeyong pats his back, “That’s fiction. That’s not how relationships work in real life. And I can guarantee you Jaehyun’s perfectly fine with what you two have. You’ve both been happy so far. Why are you suddenly thinking about this?”

 

“I just…I just overheard these two girls and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And yeah, he’s been happy but what if he _isn’t_ and he’s just been acting like he is?”

 

“Listen, I doubt he’s been pretending to be happy with your relationship. But, why don’t you just talk to him about it?”

 

“I can’t do that,” He shakes his head, “No…if he’s been pretending, there’s no way he’d tell me straight up like that. I need to do something else to make sure I’m right. I just need to figure out what.”

 

“Well…” Taeyong trails off, “I guess you could try roleplaying? Test out the waters and see if he wants to change things up…”

 

“That’s perfect!” Sicheng perks up, standing and brushing the back of his jeans, “I’m gonna do that right away. You still have those handcuffs right?”

 

Taeyong scoffs, “Who do you think I am? Of course I do. Anything you can think of, I have. Even police-grade riot gear and a plastic bag full of mirror shards. I can’t tell you how I got that though.”

 

“Perfect!” Sicheng beams and waves, sprinting down the street, “Thank you Yongie!”

 

“Wait—The best solution is just talking to him though!” Taeyong yells after Sicheng’s retreating back, “Really? You’re just gonna leave me here? At least call me an taxi home.”

 

**

 

The next time they talk Jaehyun almost gets a heart attack.

 

“Fuck!” He screams when someone pushes him against the front door to his apartment, slamming it shut. His heart races; he just got home from his shift at the gym and hadn’t even gotten the chance to on the light. The apartment is dark, and he can barely make out anything except for the outline of a tall shadow, towering a whole half a foot above him.

 

“Oh—damn sorry! Did you get hurt?”

 

The figure flicks the switch on the wall. Light floods the room. Jaehyun huffs out a sigh of relief.

 

It’s just Sicheng. Floating a few inches above the ground.

 

Suddenly his heart aches. He hasn’t seen his boyfriend in days, but it feels like months without him. And here he is, in his apartment, pinning him against the door. Sicheng brushes his fingers against his cheek, fussing and checking to see if he bruised anything but Jaehyun can barely pay attention to his touch, eyes glued to his face instead. He missed him; missed his sparkling eyes, missed waking up to him sleep-chewing on one of his fingers, even missed his ice cream stomachaches (“ _You’re not supposed to eat human food Sicheng!”_ ).

 

He wants to tell him. Tell him how much he missed him, how much he couldn’t stand being apart for him, ask him _why_.

 

But he doesn’t.

 

“No, no I’m not hurt,” Jaehyun breathes through his nose instead, and Sicheng pulls back, still bent over as he hovers above the ground.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes—but ah. I think we need to talk.”

 

“I do too,” Sicheng blushes, looking slightly embarrassed.

 

“Oh,” Jaehyun blinks, “Ok. You first then.”

 

“What?” Sicheng backs up and Jaehyun notices he’s wearing a new velvet suit, “No. You.”

 

“Me? But…I insist you go first.”

 

“You’re the one that brought it up first.”

 

“Yeah but…Fine. Okay how about we say it at the same time?”

 

Sicheng scrunches his nose, “Wouldn’t we be unable to hear each other?”

 

“Yes…however, it’s fair this way.”

 

“Huh…you have a point. Okay.”

 

“Okay. On the count of three—”

 

“After three or on three?”

 

“On.”

 

“Got it.”

 

“Alright,” Jaehyun inhales and starts slowly, “1…2…”

 

“I think we should roleplay,” They both blurt out simultaneously.

 

Sicheng’s face lights up, eyes widened owlishly and his lips spread into a wide grin.

 

“ _Dude,_ ” He says and Jaehyun only nods, his own smile taking up half his face.

 

“ _Dude,_ ” Jaehyun repeats and gives him a high five, “That was so cool…we’re like totally on the same page.”

 

“That was like that scene from _Frozen_ …I love _Frozen_ …”

 

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

 

“So…since we’re on the same page and all,” Sicheng turns around and picks up something from the couch, which happens to be a long, black cape Jaehyun’s sure he’s seen at the cheap year-round Halloween pop up store around the corner.  “How do you feel about _this_?” He ties it around his neck and does a little _ta-da!_ motion with his hands.

 

Of course, to Jaehyun, Sicheng looks beautiful in everything. Really, he could inspire an erection wearing just about anything. Including long, villain capes. But if he’s being honest, he’d rather just have his boyfriend in his bed, wearing his old sleep shirt. The one with the neck-hole that’s so big it slips down his shoulder.

 

Yeah. His old sleep shirt and _nothing else._

 

Well maybe socks too. Socks sound good. Sicheng has a habit of digging his heels in his ass and his feet get _really cold_ considering he has no circulatory system. So socks are a must.

 

“Jaehyun?” Sicheng asks again when he hasn’t answered.

 

“Oh,” Jaehyun shakes his head, “Yeah. Fuck yeah. The suit’s great too. You look like a hot, mysterious Prince of Darkness. Like…Kylo Ren. With a _much_ better build.”

 

“So the kind of guy any girl who owns a Tumblr would want to fuck.”

 

“If that’s the case, call me a girl with a Tumblr. Because I would totally fuck you in that suit. I-uh I mean I’d totally let _you_ fuck me in that suit,” _More submissive,_ a voice yells in the back of his head, “While you, um. Punch me in the face like an Alpha Vampire.”

 

_Nailed it._

 

Sicheng giggles nervously, unsure if he’d ever want to punch Jaehyun in the face. It’s not something he considered, but then again, who knows what kind of secret desires his boyfriend has been holding back.

 

“Yeah. I’d uh, totally punch you in the face while I violently shove my dick up your ass. In a dominant manner.” Sicheng coughs out, “Do you want to do it now?”

 

Jaehyun forces out a laugh. _Why the fuck did I suggest getting punched in the face?_

 

“Of course I want your… monster cock being shoved inside my orifice in a brutal manner while I take it submissively…but uh…you know I just got back from work and I’m feeling kind of peckish. Maybe I should have a snack or something before I let your manly vampire instincts consume me whole and I become your…uh…dirty blood harvesting sex pig.”

 

“Oh!” Sicheng nods vigorously, half impressed by Jaehyun’s colorful vocabulary and wholly relieved to postpone their roleplay. His boyfriend was _much_ kinkier than he expected and he’s not sure he’s cut out for this, his nerves physically manifesting in the form of sweaty palms. He wipes them on his velvet suit, “That’s a great idea. We still have those string cheese sticks in the fridge from last week.”

 

“That sounds perfect,” Jaehyun forces a smile in an attempt to mask his own nerves, “Who doesn’t love mozzarella?”

 

Sicheng mirrors his forced smile, “Weirdos probably.”

 

Jaehyun gulps, turning around to rummage through the fridge.

 

“Probably.”

 

\--

 

“You know,” Sicheng says staring at the giant portrait of Jaehyun’s late grandmother in the den, “Maybe this isn’t the best place to do this.”

 

“Agreed,” Jaehyun nods, finishing the last of his own mozzarella stick, “I swear I feel like her eyes are following me sometimes.”

 

“I have noticed that.”

 

“Right? It’s really creepy.”

 

“Right…I wasn’t really picturing your apartment for our roleplay anyway.”

 

“Wanna try a club or something?”

 

“I’ll get my cape.”

 

 

\--

 

“Ok well that was another bust. Maybe we should just go home.” Jaehyun kicks the ground as they walk around the street. They just got turned down from the fifth club in the area.

 

Well, Jaehyun got turned down. There’s a not so surprising amount of bouncers who find Sicheng attractive.

 

“Hell no,” Sicheng says very firmly. He can’t let Jaehyun be disappointed and miss out from the _vampire experience._ That would make him an awful boyfriend. And as much as Sicheng isn’t into being a sadistic pig fucker, he’d do anything to make Jaehyun happy. “I’m not letting you give this up. We’ll find a place. Maybe we can do it in alleyway? That’s pretty dark and mysterious.”

 

“It’s also really cold,” Jaehyun shivers.

 

“Fuck I forgot. Human, right. Sorry.” Sicheng smiles sheepishly, “Want the cape?”

 

“I can’t let you lose the aesthetic.”

 

“Honey, your fingers are turning blue. Take the cape.”

 

Jaehyun shakes his head. Sicheng giving him the cape would defeat the whole purpose of this roleplay, “The cape is for you.”

 

Sicheng sighs, “Alright, well let’s at least go inside somewhere while we think of what to do next. There’s a 24-7 pharmacy around the corner.”

 

“That, I can do.”

 

\--

 

The pharmacy is thankfully, well heated.

 

And empty.

 

Very, very empty.

 

“So,” Jaehyun says, glancing at the shelves of adult diapers gleaming in bright fluorescent lighting behind Sicheng.

 

“So…” Sicheng echoes back awkwardly. Which is to say, is becoming a recurring theme. The awkwardness that is.

 

The odd elevator music playing in the store doesn’t really help with the situation. Neither does the fact that he’s wearing a huge, black, Halloween cape and three-piece suit in the middle of the _personal care_ aisle.

 

“We could do it here?” Jaehyun suggests. He’s trying his best here.

 

Sicheng tilts his head, “In front of the laxatives?”

 

“Well I can’t think of any place better right now…”

 

“No, no. You’re right. Let’s do it here. There’s no one else in the store and this is kind of sexy. Like if you think really hard about it…it’s sexy.”

 

“Yeah…if you think _really_ hard…I guess it could be a scenario where I’m like…a helpless submissive human shopping for uh…” Jaehyun looks at the adult diapers again, “God this is a really bad aisle to do this in.”

 

“No no, it’s fine! You’re shopping for adult diapers for your uh…alive grandmother on your dad’s side who has a bowel problem. Because you’re sweet and innocent. When suddenly you see a figure in all black, me—by the way I’m the figure—and I pin you against a shelf like _this_.”

 

At that, Sicheng pushes Jaehyun against the shelf.

 

Which, combined by the shit quality of the pharmacy’s shelves and Sicheng’s supervampire strength, turns out to be the biggest mistake.

 

“No, no, no! Fuck!” Sicheng yells as the shelf begins to slowly fall back.

 

It lands on the ground with a loud crash, packages of adult diapers scattering all over the floor.

 

“Shit,” Sicheng groans.

 

“Very appropriate word choice,” Jaehyun comments.

 

“Are you really trying out one of your dad jokes in a time like th—”

 

“Hey I heard a—Oh wow. That doesn’t look good.”

 

Jaehyun and Sicheng both pause, turning around at the sound of the new voice.

 

“Mark?!” Jaehyun gapes at the sight his eighteen-year-old coworker standing in the middle of the aisle in a blue and white uniform vest.

 

“Oh, Jaehyun hyung. What’s up?”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“Dude! I work here. You didn’t know?”

 

“But you already work at the gym. Plus didn’t you say you also did shifts at the chicken place across the street?”

 

“I do,” Mark nods, “Yeah but those are only day jobs. I needed something for the night…can’t waste time doing _nothing_. Plus the uniform here is super cool. We get these little star patches for our vests if we do a good job. I’d totally show you how sick they are but I haven’t gotten one yet. But once I do, you’ll know, because I’ll bump that _everywhere_.”

 

Jaehyun frowns, “Are you struggling financially or something Mark? I really don’t think having three part-time jobs is a good idea, especially since you’re also a student and you should be asleep by now.”

 

“What? Dude no…I’m fine. I just need to work. Romans 12:11. Gotta stay on that grind, man. I have Sunday to sleep anyway. We rest on Sundays.”

 

“Uh…I don’t think that’s how that works…”

 

“Anyway…what happened here? And whoa…that’s a cool cape. Sicheng right? Jaehyun talks about you all the time.”

 

“Right. That’s me. Nice to meet you.”

 

Mark grins and bends down to pick up a package of diapers, “Super stoked to meet you too. But I have to ask…are you guys doing what I think you’re doing?”

 

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun laughs nervously.

 

“Oh come on…I totally see what’s happening here. The cape. The fact that you guys are in the adult diaper section.”

 

“Mark it’s really not what it looks li—”

 

“There’s _no_ need to be ashamed. The community is bigger than you think and I really think we don’t deserve our bad rep. I was actually gonna ask if I could join.”

 

Jaehyun and Sicheng share a panicked look.

 

“Mark—I—”

 

“Don’t worry. I keep my own costume with me on all times. Once I get these cleaned up we can do a session.”

 

“Mark you’re two years younger than me. And like a little brother. _Plus_ you’re my coworker. I don’t think that would be appropriate.”

 

Mark drops the diaper he’s holding and frowns.

 

“What’s inappropriate about LARPing?”

 

“Well to begi—wait LARPing?”

 

“Yeah. You know…Live Action Role Play. I usually do a medieval type scenario where I gather a guild to go on a mission to slay a beast or something, just because my knight costume from sixth grade still fits pretty well and the budget’s tight. What did you think I was talking about?”

 

“Uh…nothing. LARPing. Yeah we were totally uhm…LARPing.”

 

“I’m playing Dracula,” Sicheng adds, “And Jaehyun’s um…” He squints at Jaehyun’s jeans and yellow striped shirt, “Arthur. The aardvark. From the hit American childrens’ series. Except he’s time traveling in this scenario.”

 

“ _Dude,”_ Mark says with wide eyes, “That sounds _amazing._ That’s like…two of the greatest literary characters together. You know what? These diapers can wait, man…I’m gonna grab my knight costume. This scenario is lit already.”

 

“Yeah you do that!” Jaehyun nodded and gave Mark a thumb’s up, “Sicheng and I will just be here. Playing Dracula and…Arthur.”

 

“Don’t get too wild without me!” Mark calls out, winking at the pair before turning around and running to the back of the store.

 

As soon as he’s gone Jaehyun turns, “Arthur? Really?”

 

“Hey, it was the best I could do in the moment. And you _are_ dressed exactly like him right now.”

 

Jaehyun pouts, “I _guess_ …it’s just…Arthur’s kind of underwhelming next to Dracula.”

 

“Well can you think of any other better fictional character who wears a yellow shirt and jeans?”

 

“…No…okay. Point taken.”

 

Sicheng sighs and presses his fingers against his temple (its really more for dramatic effect since vampires don’t get headaches), “Whether you’re Arthur should be the least of our worries now. We’re about to do a medieval roleplay with your eighteen-year-old coworker in the middle of a pharmacy. You know, I gotta be honest, this wasn’t what I was picturing when I suggested a roleplay.”

 

“No, no you’re right. Look, I’ll just tell Mark we’re tired. It’s late anyway. We should get some sleep…Oh, Sicheng.”

 

Jaehyun pauses, trailing off. Sicheng has his face in his hands, his chest heaving up and down the same way it does whenever they watch a sad movie and it gets to be too much for him. He’s crying.

 

“Baby,” Jaehyun calls out, his voice wracked with his own distress. There’s absolutely _nothing_ he hates more than seeing Sicheng upset. It probably hurts him more than he should, something twisting painfully inside him at the sight of his boyfriend looking so small, tears dripping down his cheeks.

 

 _Odd_ , because his ex-girlfriend always said dating him was like dating a low empathy, emotionless sock.

 

But maybe it’s different when it comes to Sicheng. Because he absolutely can’t stand it, which is why whenever they watch something sad, he does everything in his power to keep him distracted and happy. Usually that means he tickles him to death until he gets jabbed in the spleen with his really ( _really_ ) pointy elbow or he peppers kisses all over his face until he’s smiling again.

 

Tickling really doesn’t seem appropriate in this situation so he opts for option two.

 

“Babe,” Jaehyun says again, attempting to pry Sicheng’s hands from his face. His grip is frigidly strong though, and all he succeeds in doing is pulling him in closer. Jaehyun frowns, the soft sound of Sicheng’s sobs making his chest tighten. This is the last thing he wanted.

 

Really, all he wanted was to make him happy.

 

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun asks, his voice as soft as possible. When Sicheng doesn’t answer, he frowns momentarily at a loss at what to do.

 

Well, if he can’t kiss his face, he can kiss the _hands on his face_. Which is exactly what he does, bending at the knees so he gets a better angle and pressing as many kisses as he can to Sicheng’s hands.

 

“Stop,” Sicheng mumbles, lips muffled behind his palms.

 

“Stop what?” Jaehyun feigns ignorance, smiling in the middle of a kiss on Sicheng’s eyelid between the widening gaps of his fingers. It’s working.

 

“Stop kissing me you loser. ‘M not in the mood.”

 

“But I like it,” Jaehyun says, cupping Sicheng’s face between his palms and tilting his head up, “And I think you do too.”

 

Sicheng peeks at him through his fingers, “No I don’t.”

 

“Oh really?” Jaehyun asks, pulling his hands away from his face and wiping away the wetness from his cheeks. “So you hate when I do this?”

 

He kisses his forehead, his nose, the spot right above his lips. Sicheng’s lips twist into a pout. The same pout he does when he’s trying to hide a smile.

 

“Come on, don’t hide it. Let me see those pearly white fangs.”

 

“You’re the worst,” Sicheng sighs and bats his hand into Jaehyun’s chest. But Jaehyun grabs his wrist before he can go on, pulling him into his chest and wrapping his arms around his shoulders in a hug.

 

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

 

Sicheng huffs into his shoulder.

 

“Do I have to?”

 

“Well,” Jaehyun starts, running a hand through Sicheng’s hair, “considering I haven’t seen you in a week until today when you turned up in my apartment in a cape and now you’re crying in a pharmacy, I think it’d be a good idea babe.”

 

“Hey, I’m not the only one acting weird. You didn’t text me. At _all_. Plus I heard from Taeyong you hung out with Doyoung. Since when do you voluntarily spend time with Doyoung?”

 

“You have a point there. But I think this just means we both need to talk,” Jaehyun pulls back so that they’re making eye contact, “As honestly as possible.”

 

“You’re right,” Sicheng sighs, “It’s just…embarrassing.”

 

“Is this about what we overheard from those girls last week?”

 

“Yes,” Sicheng blushes, “I just… I screwed up this whole roleplay and I’ve had an image in my head about what it would be like, and I can tell you, it did _not_ involve knocking over a whole shelf of adult diapers. And it’s all my fault. I can’t give you what you need. And what kind of relationship is that? Being in one where your partner can’t satisfy your needs?”

 

Jaehyun raises his eyebrows, “Wait… _you_ feel like you’re not satisfying _my_ needs? What do you think my needs are?”

 

“What those girls were talking about. You know…mystery, darkness, the whole vampire shebang. I can’t give you that…I’m just…me.”

 

“What? Is that what you thought? Because I thought that you were upset that _I_ wasn’t letting you reach your vampire potential. I dated you for _you._ Not for the fact that you’re a vampire.”

 

“Really?” Sicheng asks, biting his lip, “So…you don’t care about the _Twilight_ experience?”

 

“What? No. Listen, I never told you this but I liked you _before_ you turned.”

 

Sicheng frowns, “But that was over a year ago. Did we even talk then?”

 

Jaehyun turns a shade of pink.

 

“Well…no. But we had that class together. And I kept thinking about how cute you were.”

 

“We had a class together?”

 

“Yes…yes we did. Chinese Cinema 101. Professor Wu?”

 

Sicheng frowns, “You were in that class? I never noticed.”

 

“Yes! I sat right across from you every day. I can’t believe you didn’t…well this is a boost to my self-esteem.”

 

“Sorry babe. I took that class as my designated nap time.”

 

“Look, never mind. The point is I liked you _before_ you were a vampire. I like you just the way you are. I was just worried you were holding back a part of you.”

 

“Jae…” Sicheng says, touching the side of his neck. His heart has never felt so full, “No I’m not holding back a part of me. You’re really happy with everything we already do? How did I get so lucky?”

 

“Yes, yes. I love everything we do. And I could ask you the same.”

 

“I can’t believe we were this stressed over this. I went out drinking every night this week just because I was worried you weren’t happy and it was driving me nuts.”

 

“I missed you so much. You don’t understand how lonely the apartment is without you. We should’ve just talked this through.”

 

“We really should’ve. Let’s do that from now on?”

 

“Agreed. If we have doubts about anything we’ll talk about it.”

 

“Perfect,” Sicheng beams, “Speaking of which. I really hate this cape.”

 

“And I don’t want to be punched in the face during sex by the way. That was just really bad improv on my part. I love the sex we have already.”

 

“Even if it’s not exciting?”

 

“Oh come on, you’re telling me it’s not exciting when I bend you over and—”

 

“Hey guys! It took a while but I finally got my costume on!” Mark says, running down the aisle with a giant plastic knife.

 

“Mark be caref—”

 

And, as if on cue, Mark crashes into the shelf of laxatives. The whole thing falling apart.

 

Sicheng looks at Jaehyun.

 

“Don’t say it.”

 

“I have to say it.”

 

“We’re breaking up if you say it.”

 

“Well, _shit._ ”

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks yall...im sorry if u hate me after reading this bc u discovered just how off my rocker i truly am. lmk if u still like this verse and u want more after this mess!!
> 
> (again sorry for the very very american references)
> 
> thanks to miss counter_illumination and miss k for all the feedback!


End file.
